What to do when Dad has stopped answering the phone

It's a strange feeling. You ring Dad like you do every Tuesday and it just rings out. You try later, same thing. He's probably asleep, or in the garden, or has the telly on too loud. You tell yourself that.

By the third missed call your stomach has turned. You are at work. You don't know whether to keep ringing, ask a neighbour, or get in the car.

If you've had this exact afternoon, this is a calm guide to what to try, in what order, and when to escalate.

Step 1: rule out the obvious

Most of the time, there's a simple reason. Phone on silent. Charger unplugged. Hearing aid out. Visitor in. Don't skip these — they're the answer eight or nine times out of ten.

• Try a different number — landline if you usually call mobile, or vice versa.
• Send a text. Some older parents look at texts but won't always pick up calls.
• Try video call if they have it set up. Sometimes they ignore audio because they think it's spam.

Step 2: ask a neighbour, if you have one

If you have a neighbour's number, this is the cheapest, lowest-stress check available. "Could you knock and just check Dad's okay?" Most people are happy to. Save your neighbour's number now if you don't have it.

Tip: keep that number where you can find it under stress. In a contact called "Dad's neighbour" so you don't have to think.

Step 3: contact the GP surgery or warden, if relevant

If your parent is on a sheltered scheme, has a careline pendant, or has district nurses visiting, those people can often do a welfare check faster than you can drive there. Phone the scheme office or the careline number, not the GP — the GP usually can't do this.

Step 4: police welfare check

If you genuinely can't reach them, you have no neighbour to ask, and the situation feels off, you can ring 101 and request a welfare check. The police will go round. They do this often.

This isn't an overreaction. They would much rather come out and find your dad asleep than not be called when something's wrong.

Don't ring 999 unless you have a specific reason to think there's an immediate emergency. 101 is the right number for a welfare check.

How to make this less stressful next time

Most of this stress comes from not knowing. The reason a single missed call feels so heavy is because you don't have any other signal.

Three things help, regardless of what app or system you use:

• A daily check-in. Some way for them to confirm they're well that doesn't depend on you ringing.
• A neighbour or warden number, saved.
• A shared sense across the family of who saw them last.

If that sounds like a job, it doesn't have to be. Getwello does the first one with a one-button daily check-in. A missed day pings the family before you've even noticed. See how it works.

And keep the neighbour's number in your phone. Honestly, that one tip might be the most useful thing in this whole article.